Rethinking Romance: Why the Best Gifts Aren’t Just for Valentine’s Day
Why Romance Often Gets Pushed Aside
With busy lives, romance can quietly slide to the bottom of our priorities. Endless to-do lists, deadlines, and responsibilities leave little time for yourself—let alone planning something special for your partner.
But as relationship expert Esther Perel reminds us:
She makes a striking distinction:
Without enough desire, even the most loving relationship can start to feel more like a beautiful friendship than a passionate partnership.
Keeping Desire Alive in Long-Term Relationships
Perel coined the term “erotic intelligence” to describe the art of sustaining desire in long-term love. She also believes a reluctance to celebrate love—whether for an anniversary, birthday, or Valentine’s Day—is a red flag.
Daily stresses and small irritations can make romance feel forced, but rekindling passion isn’t about big gestures—it’s about energy.
Create Your Erotic Self-Care Plan
Perel suggests starting with two lists:
1. Turn Offs — What Drains You
Examples:
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Checking emails before bed
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Worrying about the kids
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Stressing over work or finances
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Overeating or skipping exercise
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Neglecting self-care
2. Turn Ons — What Energises You
Examples:
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Spending time in nature
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Dancing
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Pampering yourself
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Connecting with your body
This isn’t about sexual acts—it’s about mapping what gives you vitality and what depletes it.
Moving Beyond Cliché Gifts
When you understand your personal energy map, pleasure becomes richer, more complex, and deeply personal. Suddenly, cheap Valentine’s trinkets and throwaway cards lose their appeal.
You start looking for meaningful gift ideas—ones that reflect who you are and what matters most.
Jewellery as a Daily Reminder of Love
In our contemporary jewellery designs, we embed meaning that connects people to what they love most—romantic partners, cherished friends, or deeply held values.
A jewellery gift is never just an object:
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Engagement ring → I want to share my life with you forever.
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Wedding ring → I will stand with you through all of life’s seasons.
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Anniversary gift or Valentine’s gift → Those promises still matter.
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Gift for a friend → You are an important part of my life.
Today, more people are celebrating friendships with the same reverence as romantic love—a shift that’s long overdue.
Why Gift Giving Matters
Gift giving is one of the oldest ways humans show who matters to them. We don’t give gifts to strangers—we give them to people we want in our lives.
Unfortunately, the commercialisation of Valentine’s Day has buried that truth under piles of cheap, mass-produced items. But the real heart of romantic gift giving is connection. It’s about creating shared meaning, not ticking a box.
Celebrating Love Every Day
We are fortunate—this generation is the first to have scientific encouragement to explore what brings us joy and to treat pleasure not as a luxury, but as an essential part of life.
So maybe the real question isn’t whether you’ll give a gift this Valentine’s Day—it’s whether the gift you choose will truly make someone feel seen, valued, and desired… not just for one day, but every day.
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